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Monday, May 24, 2010

Intern Lauren needs us! :) - part 1

image by amy geliebter on flickr

So lately we've been posting a lot about outer beauty-related things. And that's part of what TCN is about...I mean, we're girls, and we're pretty girly!! We love makeup, clothes, purses, shoes, jewelry, all that stuff!! And sometimes those kinds of things can help a girl start to feel a little better about herself or simply uplift her mood. And that's great! As long as those things don't take precedence over who you are on the inside. We know it sounds cliche. But it's true. Who wants to be beautiful on the outside but ugly on the inside? The way you look is only one facet of who you are. It's fun to dress up and try to make yourself look better, and when you feel good about the way you look, you carry yourself differently. But it's not everything. We don't want to do nothing but "heavy" posts; we want this to be a place where you can come and have fun, get ideas, and share opinions. But every now and again, we wanna stop and point out that the real reason TCN exists is to help you feel better about YOU! :) While the two of us get together and joke about how awesomely amazing we are, and each other, we find our self-esteem actually improving...and that is why we started this little adventure, because maybe some of that'll rub off on you. :) This is gonna be a two-part hang with us!! :)

I think there are tons of cases of girls who are beautiful on the outside AND the inside but have no idea. I heard an interview with a radio intern named Lauren from Q100's The Bert Show. Granted, I have no idea what she actually looks like, BUT I'd be willing to bet she's a lot prettier than she thinks she is. I think that's the case with a lot of girls and women. They spend so much time wishing they looked like someone else and emulating other people that they can get completely lost and not have a strong sense of their own identity. I'm not saying that's necessarily the case with her. But I've heard two interviews with her on the radio where she alluded to not feeling good enough about herself. I've been trying to come up with the right words before delving into a blog post. And I'm still not sure I have them. :) But I'll try. Let me first say that KameraWhore and I are NOT counselors, nor are we experts. We can only speak from our personal experiences. And we still struggle with our images of ourselves; we're NORMAL! But when it becomes something more like an obsession, that's a good indication that you need to make a change.

In the first interview I heard with intern Lauren, she discussed how she was extremely concentrated on her food choices, how often she ate, how often she worked out, and her weight. The staff seemed like they were a bit worried that she might have an eating disorder and actually had her take a quiz to see if they could tell. She discusses in the second interview I heard (you can listen to it here) how she feels like people are constantly talking about her and is very self-conscious when she walks into a room. It's to the point where she can't even have a good time because she's wondering what people are thinking about her hair, clothes, etc., and judging her. She says she adjusts how she acts toward someone by how they act toward her first, so it's not only that she's worried about what people think of how she looks but also what she's like as a person. I'd like to point out that I am very proud of her for sharing her struggles so openly, because it's leaving her vulnerable to what others think of her, one of the very things she's afraid of, and yet she has the courage to talk about it! That's very brave and honest and real of her, and I'm sure many out there feel the same way she does. But it sounds like she's exhausted by the anxiety of constantly comparing herself to other women and having to work SO HARD to keep up an image, without ever really being sure if she's "okay" or not. 

This is why I wrote the "Narcissa" story on our web site and why I added the part at the end about why I wrote it. I didn't talk about how beautiful Narcissa is in the story because I think I'm that beautiful. I wrote it that way 1) because it's a rewrite of the Greek myth about Narcissus and Echo, and the main character is supposed to be regarded as exceptionally attractive, and 2) because, like the old song, everyone is beautiful in their own way, and the story is largely about me coming to accept who I am and how I look simply because it's ME, and I can think I'm beautiful simply for being ME. 

You can look at tons of models and quickly realize they're not "conventionally beautiful." Sometimes the most interesting of faces is the one that doesn't look like everyone else's or what people typically deem to be attractive. And what makes you most attractive is how you carry yourself and present yourself. If you have a healthy perspective of yourself, that's going to come out in the way you walk and the way you talk to people. 

Lauren is, I believe, 23. I know I felt the same way at her age, and I'm not saying that I never feel ANY of those things now. I do! But as I'm nearing 30 this year, I'm realizing that I have never liked who I am as a person or liked the way I look more than I do now. It doesn't mean I'm full of myself. It means I'm learning more and more what is great about me, what makes me special, what I can offer the world that no one else can. Jenn Hobby, one of the DJs, made a similar remark to Lauren that she thought some of these issues would be resolved with a little more age. I really hope so! I'm afraid she might be spending her early 20s worried about the way she looks and how she's perceived more than she's LIVING. 

There is so much out there to do, to experience, that to let yourself be held back by your misguided opinions of yourself is such a waste of your precious time and energy. Make a promise right now not to fall victim to that! It's easier said than done to completely change a mindset you've had for as long as you can remember...but I'm proof that it can be done! :)

to be continued...


Nicki said...

This is a fantastic post! I think it's really great that you have a blog dedicated to promoting self-love and self confidence, and I really enjoyed reading this. =).

Nicki said...

P.S. I nominated you guys for a blogging award, keep up the great writing! =).

Jenarcissist said...

Wow!! Thanks, Nicki...that really means a LOT! :)We feel like if what we say helps even one person, it's worth what we're trying to do here. :)

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