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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Paint Yourself Confident

Happy New Year fellow Narcissists! This is KW, the seemingly silent partner of TCN. Firstly, let me go ahead and get something off my shoulders. I feel guilty for not blogging as Jen does. She is such a fabulous writer and has so many beautiful and inspirational things to say. She is so wonderful that I get a bit self-conscience of myself and my own abilities. But its okay, I'm going to woman-up and just let myself be vulnerable. After all, we're supposed to be celebrating our awesomeness around here! Maybe I'll just think about all of the people who are intimidated by me for a little while...hmmm...ahhh...yes, that's better. Confidence boosted. Ha ha. Kiddin'!

Just like Jen, I too am on my second day of being"iced" in and it's beginning to get a little stuffy around here. I just got the call that work is cancelled tomorrow as well. That's nice, but I'm going to have to get out of here! I took a shower this morning and got ready as if I did have somewhere to go. I was beginning to feel those twinges of depression that I get when I feel closed in. I needed to fool my brain into believing I had plans outside of this house. I'm really not sure how long that tactic will work. There are some things I want to accomplish today that I know will improve my mood. Actually, I likely won't finish but one of them; I just need to decide which one to begin with.

Currently, I have five paintings that I'm working on. The first is a portrait of my daughter that I have started but that needs to be completely re-worked. I also have three portraits of my pups that I have drawn and are ready to paint. Finally, I sketched out a portrait of myself :) that still needs some work before I can start painting. I sound like I have a bit of artistic ADD! Drawing and painting are two things that really make me feel good about myself though. It's not that I think I am amazingly talented, but I am proud of what I can do. I've had people ask me why I'm not an artist (by profession) and it gives me these happy feelings inside that are hard to hide. Just the thought of someone thinking I could be is such an ego booster! Seven years ago, I lost my Daddy. Shortly before he passed away, he was in the hospital proudly introducing his family to his nurses. At the time, he was having some cognitive issues and when he got to me I could see he was having a problem recalling my name.He introduced me as the artist. Having him say that, as sad as the situation was, gave me an unexpected confidence in myself and a true sense of pride that my father considered me to be an "artist". I'll never forget the bitter-sweetness of that moment. If I ever feel like I'm not good enough, I think back to that.

Portraits are what I love to do and I would be ecstatic if I could find a way to incorporate them into TCN's shop. It is narcissistic (though perfectly healthy) to commission a portrait of one's self, so I suppose it does suit our theme of self-love! I just might have to talk to my business partner! Did y'all know that she is also a painter? Has she mentioned that? She has a perfectly beautiful painting in the works that she refuses to see as such. Ask her about it and maybe she'll share it with the TCN family!

Portrait of Dad (2003)

So, what is a sure thing that makes you feel good about yourself? Maybe it's a talent that you have or something about yourself that people tend to compliment a lot. Do you have a moment in your life that you can draw upon for a confidence boost?

1 comment:

Jenarcissist @ the closet narcissist said...

Anyone would be lucky to have you do their portrait! :) 'bout one of MOI??

Don't y'all love her wit? Her slightly snarky style of "narcissism" comes through on here more than mine, even though we're both that way when we get together - I love it, and it's really cute on her! :)

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