First, a quick catch-up...a very belated Happy Holidays and Happy New Year from the Narcissisters to you now that it's January 12th. ;)
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| I love the first pic of KameraWhore so much...doesn't she look so 70s chic? The compact mirror was a gift from her daughter that reads: "Mirror, mirror, in my hand, I'm the fairest in the land." Does she know her mom or what?! |
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| I got this vintage polyester dress for $15 from a thrift shop that's moving! SCORE! It's not maternity, it FITS me, and the waist is adjustable because it ties in the back. Don't know if you can tell, but the belt is lace. Only problem is - it's very hot being thick polyester. And you'll notice our family Christmas portrait there on the right. That's me (Bella), Renesmee, and Edward. haha NO, I did not name my daughter that, don't worry. But I couldn't resist, what with that pacifier and all. P.S. My awesome headband came from Garlands of Grace, an etsy shop I absolutely adore. |
So if you haven't gathered this already, having a newborn pretty much takes over your life...in the best of ways! My little girl is 3 months old this week; I can hardly believe it. Sometimes I miss when she was so brand new and tiny. But now...now, you see, she SMILES and coos. She has always smiled, and not from gas or a reflex as people would like you to believe, but once the smiles became a more direct response, pitter-patter goes my heart. It's the best thing ever when her face breaks out into a huge grin just because I'm looking at her. It's like no other feeling in the world. My husband and I spend a lot of time pacing. She is a girl who likes to be on the move! Even while she's sleeping, she knows if we sit down and will sometimes wake up and start fussing...we stand up and start walking again, and she goes back to sleep. Sometimes I go to bed with my feet so sore, and sometimes it feels impossible to get anything done (like get dressed or brush my teeth), but you know, it's just not that big of a deal. I'd do anything for her. And it's getting easier over time. Frankly, I'm glad she wants to be held close so much. I want to be close to her as much as possible too.
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| How I look on an average day. Can't even see my shirt. lol Thanks to some "mom blogs," I saved a ton of money on wraps by buying T-shirt fabric on sale. You get about 5 yards, cut it down the middle length-wise, and then you have two! |
I obviously haven't had the time to blog like I used to, but I still think about TCN often and the purpose behind it. We sold a necklace a couple weeks ago, and even though we haven't sold that many, every time we mail one off, it makes me happy...we send it off with a wish that the recipient will feel better about herself because of it. I am human, and it's not like I have amazing self-confidence every single day. I work from home, so most days you won't find me in real clothes but pajamas. My hair will probably not be brushed but just stuffed in a quick ponytail, and I definitely won't have on makeup. I will probably choose my glasses in favor of contacts instead of purposefully wearing my glasses with certain outfits. I will definitely be wearing my baby wrap, whether my baby is even in it or not, because it's easier to leave it on when she suddenly decides she needs to be inside it. I don't think too much about my appearance or my weight then (and, actually, for a while, I thought I might never care a flip about how I looked again because everything seems so trivial compared to my daughter...but you do reach a point, hopefully, where you recognize you still need a "self" and not just a "mom self"). Going out, though, sometimes presents me with challenges. I dropped 20 pounds almost immediately after giving birth but have about 20 more before I get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Realistically, that weight is not gonna fall off quickly, nor should it if I'm being healthy about it. As they say, it takes you 9 months to put it on and potentially 9, or more, to get it off. Sometimes I want to exercise just for the feel-good factor of it, but it's hard to find the time, and plus, it means being away from my baby. I know at some point I will need to start taking more "me" time. But I'm not there yet. I love being with her too much. I do go places and walk with her sometimes, and good God, you'd think all the pacing around the house and yard would melt the pounds off :), but sometimes I miss the toning feel of the machines at Curves, where I've been a member for several years.
I usually shy away from talking about weight on this blog other than to express that you can and should feel good about yourself at any weight. Not in spite of your weight but embracing yourself and making the most of your unique body. I don't think it's wrong if you want to lose weight for the right reasons. But I don't think you should despise yourself as you wait to reach a certain number or jeans size. And I don't want to get caught up in "fat talk." Fat talk has rightly been the subject of several blogs over the last year or so, and it basically means what women do when they get together. You meet a friend for lunch, and she says, "Hey, you look great!" and instead of just saying thanks, you say, "You're crazy, look at this pooch hanging over my pants and the bags under my eyes." Then she says, "No, YOU look great; look at me. You're so much thinner than I am." And on it goes. We all do it. I do it when I'm not making a conscious effort not to. It's not healthy or beneficial, but it's what we do, for many reasons. I think it's partly a female bonding thing, sadly. But, like I said, I'm human. And sometimes the post-pregnancy weight can get to me. But, actually, it's not really the weight...
One day, I threw on some clothes and took my daughter on a stroll around some local shops. I was feeling pretty good until this girl walking behind me got tired of how slow I was walking and circled around me. When she got in front of me, I saw how cute and stylish she was...and, okay, small. I kind of hate myself for saying that. But I'm not going to try and present myself as some super-human with no issues to you guys; this blog is about being real. What it took me a while to realize it's not even the actual weight that bothers me...it's 1) the fact that my body looks different from before or during pregnancy and 2) I'm just tired of wearing maternity clothes and hate that I have a whole closet full stuff I can't fit into. I lost about 30 pounds a few years ago to get to a healthy weight, and I even had to adjust to that even though it was a loss, not a gain, because I looked different. I also struggled in the beginning of my pregnancy with how fast my body started changing and then toward the end just because I was so swollen. The point is, every time my body has changed, I've struggled to adjust to it, whether the weight has gone up or down. The only time I didn't was when my baby belly reached its fullest, because, get real, I looked awesome. heehee So I think it is more about the change than the weight for me. And after buying a couple thrift shop dresses and some basic cute things at Forever 21 with some Christmas money, when I actually have on mostly normal clothes - even though chances are you will still find me in maternity pants - and find a few minutes to put on some makeup, I feel good. Doesn't matter that the baby wraps cover up most of my clothing. I know what's under there. :)
My body changed to grow my baby. It may or may not ever go back to the way it used to look, even if I lose the 20 pounds. But as Kam told me, now I am the "new and improved me." Ultimately, I am proud of my body. It is powerful and strong. And as another new mom friend of mine and I have discussed, the extra belly really makes a useful shelf for holding the little ones. haha I got a new tattoo on the side of my belly in honor of my daughter, but I think it also honors the belly that changed to accommodate her so she could be housed so cozy for so long.
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| An example of dressing for your body shape, not to be confused with being ashamed of it. The empire waist and cardigan kind of help camouflage and shape my belly and hips, and the bright colors are happy. These are the same maternity jeans you've seen me in before. |
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| Am I expecting again?? lol Nope. That's just how my belly looks from the side by the end of the day. |
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| Because I'm human, I usually pick out the most flatteringly angled pics to post. This one is more representative. |
Tell me something about your body that makes you proud. Pretty please? Even if it's something small. I want to know.
