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Friday, August 13, 2010

Here it is, the big 3-0! (+ outfit)

flickr photo by David C. Clark


Okay, the photo is just me joking around about being over the hill. But today I turned 30 years old. There, I said it. I might as well get used to it! I've mentioned before that it was getting close and that it wasn't really bothering me. Well, I have to admit that although that really was the case, and I was doing fine for the most part, when midnight struck and it officially became my birthday, I had a panic moment and shed a few tears. When I got up this morning, I was still kind of in a funk. I kept telling myself I was being ridiculous, but I couldn't help it. I found a surprise gift waiting on the counter for me from my incredible fiancĂ©e who knows me so well (and loves me anyway...), and I got all teary-eyed from that...and then I REALLY started crying between that and turning 30. lol My dogs promptly came running over to me, as they always do when I cry, in an effort to comfort me and lick my tears away til I am laughing...and as I leaned down to kiss my beagle on his sweet little snout...he belched in my face!!! I started cracking up and knew then that I was going to be okay. :) 


I've had tons of calls, comments, emails, texts, all kinds of things today! I have felt really loved and special. And, as people keep reminding me, I have so much good stuff going on during my 30th year! So I am going to focus on that. As I have tried to put into words (though I'm not sure it's been successful), it's not that I feel like this is the end or that I am old. It's simply that it feels like time is going by way too fast. I'm afraid I'm going to turn around and suddenly be another thirty years older and wonder where the time went. The last thirty years have gone by so fast already. I wish I could push the pause button sometimes and just soak up all I can and savor every moment fully. 


And, if I'm being completely honest, I do fear the changes that my face and body are inevitably going to go through at some point. It's not that I think getting older means "ugly" or "bad" or anything even close to that. It's just that regardless of HOW I change, I will still CHANGE. And the change part is what is unsettling to me; I won't always look the way I look now, and that is so weird. Do you know what I mean? But there is only so much I can do about it, and at some point down the line when I realize I am truly aging, I certainly want to embrace it as the natural process that it is and not fight it. It's sad to me the extreme measures some people will go through to stay looking young, and most of the time, it's pretty obvious that's what they're doing anyway. I will still want to try to look my best but also just try to be happy with myself and remain confident. I have a sneaky suspicion that my confidence will only grow with age rather than diminish...and that is definitely not a bad thing! :)


KameraWhore and I have already decided we'll NEVER stop shopping in the Juniors department all the same!!! ;) So in light of that, here is the outfit I am wearing today. Someone told me I was dressed like a little kid, and when I found a picture of me at one of my childhood birthday parties, I kinda had to agree! Not that I think it's a bad thing. :) This is one of my favorite dresses from Marshall's with my favorite bunny tee underneath so that he's just peeking out the top. :) Sorry it's blurry; took like six pics, and they were all that way.




We'd love to know...how do YOU picture yourself when you're in, say, your 80s? The crazy, funky grandma? The graceful, chic lady? (This is something I have to think about before I can answer!)


P.S. The Lime Crime contest winner WILL be announced soon, we PROMISE!! I know some of you are on pins and needles, and we're so sorry...we are both very involved in planning my wedding (only two months to go!) and have a million bajillion things going on!! We are going to get together tomorrow and pick the winner together. :)

4 comments:

ambrosia said...

UGH, I WILL BE 30 IN MARCH. AND I AM DREADING IT!! I DONT KNOW WHY, BUT IT SEEMS LIKE A CRESTED THE TOP OF THE HILL, AND AM NOW FALLING OVER THE OTHER SIDE, KIND OF LANDMARK :(

BUT I HEAR THAT 30 IS THE NEW 20, SO I AM CROSSING MY FINGERS THAT IT HOLDS TRUE!! LOL

Phoenix said...

I've always assumed that by the time I'm 80 I'll be in a position to be nattily dressed in tailored suits... and still be donning my makeup.

P.S. I am definitely on pins and needles for the Lime Crime announcement!

Phoenix said...

Oh, and of course Happy Birthday and best of luck with the wedding. More importantly, best of luck with the marriage!

Jenarcissist said...

I definitely think 30 is the new 20! lol And even if not the new 20, 30 is not what it used to be. I am feeling pretty good about it today, actually! :)

Thank you, Phoenix!! I really appreciate that. This is a big year for me, with my 30th, and the wedding, and beginning this incredible TCN journey with my best friend. Planning the wedding is keeping me insanely busy, but at the same time, I am much more focused on how lucky I am to be marrying such a sweet and loving guy, a perfect fit for me, than I am the wedding. I like how you have the right perspective to wish us luck with the marriage too!! :)

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