$5 Self-Love Necklaces! Last Days for Mail

A great Christmas idea for you or someone else you love. :) Why not gift a tangible reminder to be more gentle and compassionate with oneself, as well as more confident and fearless? And, for right now, you can get them for only 5 bucks each! We've marked them all down to $10 anyway, but with special code TCNXMAS12, it will knock them down to half off! (Trio necklaces will mark down to $10.) More than 20 designs to choose from...tailor them to each recipient. In case the world doesn't end on Friday, you will want one of these. ;)

But HURRY!!

I have to ship them out by Thursday (12/20/12) for Priority Mail to arrive in time for Christmas!

To get them in time, it must be designs we already have made and ready...which most are.

theclosetnarcissist.etsy.com

And, while you're on etsy, stroll over to my other shop to see if our cozy winter items might be just the things to keep you warm...everything has been marked down! (We have boot cuffs too! Pink and camo colors. I just haven't listed them yet! Also, more scarves in yellow, blue-green, and orange, plus a cute crimson newsboy cap...just let me know if you're interested.)

juniperandclover.etsy.com

   

(Couldn't resist using an image like this since I've marked everything down! Ha!)

Our First Craft Fair!

Okay, so this actually happened on April 21, and I'm only just now getting around to posting about it. :) Kam and I had our first booth at a small, local fair. Neither of us had ever done anything quite like that, and it was a great experience. We had our usual self-love necklaces, in addition to some new designs we hope to have listed in our shop soon: some cute, narcissistic necklaces and hair pins. I had a popped blood vessel in one eye that day, and let me tell you, I had to work harder to feel confident when I was supposed to be looking people in the eye and selling confidence jewelry. I pushed through and had some of the most amazing conversations with people that day that I will always remember, and I'm glad I didn't let it stop me. Truthfully, I almost didn't go, and Kam told me that wasn't an option. Real friends remind you of what's really important and encourage you to brave your fears.

We only sold two necklaces, but you know what? I could tell their messages really meant something to the two people who bought them. They each pored over everything we had to make sure they were getting just the right ones that spoke to them. I feel like it would be sort of a breach of trust to publicly tell why they got the ones they did, even if their stories were inspirational to me. Suffice it to say they were both amazing, strong women who will take the messages to heart. That, to me, means more than how many we sold. It was also interesting to hear other takes on our messages, and it goes to show that each one can have a different, yet equally powerful, meaning to you depending on your experiences and what you need.

Here are some pictures from our day!

Not quite finished setting up here; I don't think we got one of the final table in all its glory! :( 

You know me...Rob had to come along and lend his support by sporting a hat and some necklaces.

Only one person (besides me) asked to have their picture taken with him - I was shocked! 

He did get a lot of attention, though.

 A sneak peak at some of our new designs.

An accidentally broken mirror became Kam's display inspiration!

Something I hope she always believes at her core.

Kam with her daughter peeking over her shoulder.

Get your own self-love-inducing necklace here! :)

Guilt and Self-Esteem

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have you ever noticed the correlation between ever-present guilt and your level of self-esteem? There is one, you know. If you are always feeling guilty or are just plain too hard on yourself all the time, it is bound to affect the overall way you see yourself as a worthy human being. My confidence has come a looong way in the last couple of years especially, but I have always been very hard on myself, and it's something I have to consciously fight in an effort not to let it cloud my perspective of myself. 

Can guilt ever be a positive thing? Well, yeah, within reason. If you're an average person just trying to do your best in the world, you need to try and look at yourself and your life more objectively. So you feel bad that you messed up. So you hurt someone's feelings that you love. So you love your dog so much that you feel guilty over something completely out of your control (which you'll read about in a moment). Congratulations: you have the ability to feel guilt, which means you are not a sociopath. :) Fear of guilt or regretting potential consequences can keep you out of trouble. But when taken to extremes, guilt is damaging and self-destructive. 

Handmade reminders for you, available from our shop at www.theclosetnarcissist.etsy.com.

Here are some of the ways guilt affects our self-esteem.

Guilt and Lack of Self-Esteem Create a Cycle of Even More Guilt and Even Less Self-Esteem.

If you have a lot of bottled-up guilt, chances are, you have low self-esteem, and if you have low self-esteem, chances are, you're more likely to let yourself feel unnecessarily guilty. 

One thing I find myself trying to do a lot with people is convincing them that they deserve to feel good about themselves in order to gain more self-confidence. I look at someone who is so wonderful and kind and good and wonder how they could not feel they deserve happiness, love, and confidence...how they could keep making self-destructive choices in their lives because they unconsciously think that's the best that life holds for them. Maybe one reason for that is guilt in some form or another. I think a lot of people, deep down, don't feel they deserve good things in their lives, if they really break it down and look at it, and that really influences the decisions they make, some of which only lead to more guilt because of other things those decisions cause. You might need to do some pretty deep digging to discover the root of your guilt and lack of feeling deserving, but it’s the only way you’ll stop the cycle.

Irrational/Imagined Guilt Makes Us Feel Unnecessarily "Less Than."

I commented to my husband one day that I think I make up things to feel guilty about. I was talking about "Mom Guilt" when that realization hit me. If you are a parent, whether to animals or humans, you know what this is. You always wonder am I good enough...am I teaching them what they need...are they getting enough attention...what if I had done this or that differently. It's part of being a mother, even when you know you're doing your best. But I think I do sometimes take it to the extreme and pull things out of thin air to worry about and feel guilty over when really it's either 1) not even a real issue or 2) not something even remotely in my control anyhow. And you know what…if I’m honest with myself, I think feeling guilty, in a twisted way, makes me feel like a better mom…like it means I care more.

To this day, I have guilt over one of our dogs who passed away a couple of years ago. He had an incurable disease. But I still wonder if there was more I could have done. As much as I miss him terribly every day, what more could I have done, short of finding the cure myself in a lab? And that would have taken years, and he did not have years, unfortunately. See how guilt can often be a little irrational and misplaced when you step back and view it for what it really is? With another of our dogs who recently had amputation surgery due to paw cancer, once I put aside the guilt for getting his arm amputated (because it truly was the best option for curing him after consulting with four different vets, and trust me, he’s already not letting it keep him from doing what he wants in life!), suddenly I was thinking, "But we've never taken him to the beach!" Instead of focusing on the fact that we've spent thousands on surgeries for him over the years that we don't really have, simply because we love him so much and consider it our responsibility to do whatever it takes for him, and all the day-to-day love and affection he gets, I'm focusing on things I have not done for him. 

I won't go into a big religion discussion, but I will say there were nights as a young child when I'd lie awake crying and couldn't sleep because I wondered if my friends would die and go to hell if I didn't personally make sure they got “saved.” A lot of my beliefs have changed as an adult, and that kind of guilt is part of the reason for that. I don't believe that kind of heavy burden belongs on a child. Or an adult, frankly. Suffice it to say I believe in a much more loving God/Universe than that, and while I don't believe anything goes and everything is relative, I do think a lot of the things we obsess, worry over, and feel guilty about as human beings are petty and trivial and that we will realize how silly we were on the other side.  

Guilt Often Comes from the Drive to be the Perfect [Insert Title Here].

I've been mulling over this post for a few weeks, so I was thinking about guilt when I read Shybiker's post about the lists people make of things they regret when on their deathbed. As most of you know, my mom died young - it was 7 years ago this past Valentine's Day. That taught me very well to make the most of my life and to stop letting fear hold me back, to do everything I want to do while I have the ability so that I don't regret not doing it later. It was also a big part of why I wanted to develop as much healthy self-confidence as I could, because she didn't have it, and honestly, that is a huge waste. (Now I just have to stop feeling guilty over not developing more confidence/not doing all the things I wanted sooner, right? Just kidding.) Anyway, here is part of the comment I left:

That's a pretty powerful list. I am always making myself feel guilty about something or other; sometimes I will pull something out of thin air to feel guilty about that is really not worth my energy. So I think some of the things I "regret" really aren't as huge as I think they are. But, in general, I do try to have as good of a balance between family, friends, work, self, etc. as I can. I feel like I am juggling a whole lot of balls, and I feel like those I care about (except for baby, of course!) suffer sometimes because I can't give 100% to everybody all the time. But I do my best, and as long as I do that, I shouldn't have any regrets.

Sounds nice, right? So why do I still allow myself to have regrets then? There is only so much I can do as one imperfect human being who is a wife, mom, daughter, niece, friend, employee, blogger, and all the other many roles I play in my life. I cannot be all things to all people all the time. So why do I let myself feel guilty for not being able to be superhuman? We can and should try to make the best balance as we can, but we aren’t always going to be able to give everyone/everything a perfectly equal piece of the pie.

As I've said many times before, I don't want to teach my daughter that she has to be perfect. I lived with that self-imposed drive most of my life - hmm, sounds like maybe I still do a bit, and it always leaves me tired, guilty, and never feeling enough. I want her to know it's okay to make mistakes sometimes. Every time I'm even slightly irritable at home with my husband or pets, I feel guilty and terrible. (I am even feeling guilty right now that I'm admitting I ever get irritable with them.) But you know what? When my daughter is older, she will learn that being irritable is normal sometimes and doesn't make you a bad person and that Mom apologizes if she hurts anyone's feelings. I think it's not so much the mistake you make as the way you handle it afterward. Did you learn from it? Will you do your best not to let it happen again? Okay, then let’s move on.

No one is perfect, no matter how awesome their life may appear on Facebook, so stop the insane treadmill drive to be perfect already. Just be the best you that you can be and let go of the rest. 

Guilt Can Turn You Into a Martyr, Which Only Leads to More Guilt When You Actually Do Something for Yourself.

People act out in a variety of ways to get their individual needs met, and that alone can lead to guilt situations. And there should be no guilt for doing what you need to do for yourself to meet as many of your needs as possible, within normal reason and as long as you aren't demanding of others to do that for you. It is not selfish to have time for yourself. It is not selfish to be happy. It is not selfish to succeed. 

I decided to do a Google search for "guilt and self-esteem" when I was planning out this post. (Hey, next time someone Googles that, maybe this post will come up!) I found a couple things I really liked.

Not only do we feel guilty for not being good enough, but we also take on all our family's emotional pain and guilt that they have not been able to deal with in their lives. This causes us to sacrifice ourselves for other people rather than living our own life fully. We subconsciously decide that we can pay off our guilt by being in sacrifice to the people we love.

(from http://www.iloveyouloveme.com/relationship_advice/the_origins_of_guilt_and_low_self_esteem.htm)

I had spent most of my life taking care of other's people needs and I have forgotten mine. For many years I played the role of a "good child," sometimes called: "Responsible Child" - "Family Hero." I realized that in doing so every time I have succeeded I felt guilty, I had left (in my own thinking) my family behind.

(from http://www.selfesteemawareness.com/self-esteem-and-guilt.htm)

Bottom line...

If you are constantly dwelling on mistakes you've made, chances you didn't take, all the "what ifs" that leave you riddled with anxiety in addition to guilt, think about how that influences your overall opinion of yourself - not of how you look but who you are as a person. If you can't cut yourself a break, you may very well go through life feeling less than and unworthy. And let's face it: living with constant guilt is exhausting! When you let go of it, you literally breathe easier. Your whole body benefits, not just your emotions. It is what it is. Forgive yourself, let go of it, and just try to do better from that point forward without making yourself crazy. In general, most people do the best they can at the time. You have to decide that was enough.  

What do you need to let go of, right here, right now, so you can stop feeling guilty? Don't feel you have to answer such a personal question in a comment if you're not comfortable with that, though you can do it anonymously if you like, and maybe that will help hold you accountable. Either way, decide that you deserve to let go of it and start feeling better about who you are.

For me, in this particular moment in time, I’m going to go rejoin my family and choose not to feel guilty for taking the time to write this post. :) I also need to stop feeling guilty for not spelling out that this post is not geared toward people who are abusive or harmful to others. Wait…I just did it anyway.

P.S. If you also have “Mom Guilt,” you might want to check out these books. I haven’t read any of them, but they certainly sound up my alley!

You're a Good Mom (and Your Kids Aren't So Bad Either): 14 Secrets to Finding Happiness Between Super Mom and Slacker Mom

Mommy Guilt: Learn to Worry Less, Focus on What Matters Most, and Raise Happier Kids

Stop Second-Guessing Yourself--Baby's First Year: A Field-Tested Guide to Confident Parenting (Momma Said)

Momfidence!: An Oreo Never Killed Anybody and Other Secrets of Happier Parenting

Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box: Cut Yourself Some Slack (and Still Raise Great Kids) in the Age of Extreme Parenting

Jewelry Organizer Frame Tutorial

I love when I rediscover clothes, jewelry, etc. that I already own but haven't worn in a while. It's like going shopping in my own house. Sometimes I'll forget I have things if they're not front and center where I can easily see them. When you can easily see what you have, it's easier to plan more creative outfits because you can see how things can look good together.

I'd been wanting to make a jewelry organizer frame for a while and just hadn't gotten around to it. It's not an original idea of mine; I've seen it in various places online. I have scads of beautiful necklaces I love in addition to the ones in our shop and really wanted a place to prominently display all of them, where they'll not only be in easy reach but part of the decor because they make me happy when I see them. I had them all on a coat hanger, and what a pain it was taking one off. I was planning on having a booth at a local craft fair recently and worked hard all week making more of our necklaces and planning the display, and then for many reasons, I wasn't able to go. But I finally made a frame organizer to display them on, so now I can use it at home til the next craft fair comes!

You can find more of our handmade self-love necklaces at www.theclosetnarcissist.etsy.com.

You simply take a large, empty wooden frame (mine was one of many that I used for painted signs at my wedding), cut a piece of chicken wire to fit, and use a staple gun to attach the wire to the back. Then take some S hooks and place them around on the wire. You can bend the backs closed with pliers if you want or leave them loose for rearranging. Once you have all the materials, the project will probably take you all of 10 minutes, unless you want to paint your frame. I love how it looks, how my necklaces don't get tangled, and how easy it is to get what I need! You can also hang rings, bracelets, earrings, and brooches.

And voila - you have a great way to see your favorite things every day, even when you're not wearing them.

Baby weight blues? Nah. Okay, sometimes.

First, a quick catch-up...a very belated Happy Holidays and Happy New Year from the Narcissisters to you now that it's January 12th. ;)

I love the first pic of KameraWhore so much...doesn't she look so 70s chic? The compact mirror was a gift from her daughter that reads: "Mirror, mirror, in my hand, I'm the fairest in the land." Does she know her mom or what?!

I got this vintage polyester dress for $15 from a thrift shop that's moving! SCORE! It's not maternity, it FITS me, and the waist is adjustable because it ties in the back. Don't know if you can tell, but the belt is lace. Only problem is - it's very hot being thick polyester. And you'll notice our family Christmas portrait there on the right. That's me (Bella), Renesmee, and Edward. haha NO, I did not name my daughter that, don't worry. But I couldn't resist, what with that pacifier and all. P.S. My awesome headband came from Garlands of Grace, an etsy shop I absolutely adore.

So if you haven't gathered this already, having a newborn pretty much takes over your life...in the best of ways! My little girl is 3 months old this week; I can hardly believe it. Sometimes I miss when she was so brand new and tiny. But now...now, you see, she SMILES and coos. She has always smiled, and not from gas or a reflex as people would like you to believe, but once the smiles became a more direct response, pitter-patter goes my heart. It's the best thing ever when her face breaks out into a huge grin just because I'm looking at her. It's like no other feeling in the world. My husband and I spend a lot of time pacing. She is a girl who likes to be on the move! Even while she's sleeping, she knows if we sit down and will sometimes wake up and start fussing...we stand up and start walking again, and she goes back to sleep. Sometimes I go to bed with my feet so sore, and sometimes it feels impossible to get anything done (like get dressed or brush my teeth), but you know, it's just not that big of a deal. I'd do anything for her. And it's getting easier over time. Frankly, I'm glad she wants to be held close so much. I want to be close to her as much as possible too.

How I look on an average day. Can't even see my shirt. lol
Thanks to some "mom blogs," I saved a ton of money on wraps by
buying T-shirt fabric on sale. You get about 5 yards, cut it down
the middle length-wise, and then you have two!

I obviously haven't had the time to blog like I used to, but I still think about TCN often and the purpose behind it. We sold a necklace a couple weeks ago, and even though we haven't sold that many, every time we mail one off, it makes me happy...we send it off with a wish that the recipient will feel better about herself because of it. I am human, and it's not like I have amazing self-confidence every single day. I work from home, so most days you won't find me in real clothes but pajamas. My hair will probably not be brushed but just stuffed in a quick ponytail, and I definitely won't have on makeup. I will probably choose my glasses in favor of contacts instead of purposefully wearing my glasses with certain outfits. I will definitely be wearing my baby wrap, whether my baby is even in it or not, because it's easier to leave it on when she suddenly decides she needs to be inside it. I don't think too much about my appearance or my weight then (and, actually, for a while, I thought I might never care a flip about how I looked again because everything seems so trivial compared to my daughter...but you do reach a point, hopefully, where you recognize you still need a "self" and not just a "mom self"). Going out, though, sometimes presents me with challenges. I dropped 20 pounds almost immediately after giving birth but have about 20 more before I get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Realistically, that weight is not gonna fall off quickly, nor should it if I'm being healthy about it. As they say, it takes you 9 months to put it on and potentially 9, or more, to get it off. Sometimes I want to exercise just for the feel-good factor of it, but it's hard to find the time, and plus, it means being away from my baby. I know at some point I will need to start taking more "me" time. But I'm not there yet. I love being with her too much. I do go places and walk with her sometimes, and good God, you'd think all the pacing around the house and yard would melt the pounds off :), but sometimes I miss the toning feel of the machines at Curves, where I've been a member for several years.

I usually shy away from talking about weight on this blog other than to express that you can and should feel good about yourself at any weight. Not in spite of your weight but embracing yourself and making the most of your unique body. I don't think it's wrong if you want to lose weight for the right reasons. But I don't think you should despise yourself as you wait to reach a certain number or jeans size. And I don't want to get caught up in "fat talk." Fat talk has rightly been the subject of several blogs over the last year or so, and it basically means what women do when they get together. You meet a friend for lunch, and she says, "Hey, you look great!" and instead of just saying thanks, you say, "You're crazy, look at this pooch hanging over my pants and the bags under my eyes." Then she says, "No, YOU look great; look at me. You're so much thinner than I am." And on it goes. We all do it. I do it when I'm not making a conscious effort not to. It's not healthy or beneficial, but it's what we do, for many reasons. I think it's partly a female bonding thing, sadly. But, like I said, I'm human. And sometimes the post-pregnancy weight can get to me. But, actually, it's not really the weight...

One day, I threw on some clothes and took my daughter on a stroll around some local shops. I was feeling pretty good until this girl walking behind me got tired of how slow I was walking and circled around me. When she got in front of me, I saw how cute and stylish she was...and, okay, small. I kind of hate myself for saying that. But I'm not going to try and present myself as some super-human with no issues to you guys; this blog is about being real. What it took me a while to realize it's not even the actual weight that bothers me...it's 1) the fact that my body looks different from before or during pregnancy and 2) I'm just tired of wearing maternity clothes and hate that I have a whole closet full stuff I can't fit into. I lost about 30 pounds a few years ago to get to a healthy weight, and I even had to adjust to that even though it was a loss, not a gain, because I looked different. I also struggled in the beginning of my pregnancy with how fast my body started changing and then toward the end just because I was so swollen. The point is, every time my body has changed, I've struggled to adjust to it, whether the weight has gone up or down. The only time I didn't was when my baby belly reached its fullest, because, get real, I looked awesome. heehee So I think it is more about the change than the weight for me. And after buying a couple thrift shop dresses and some basic cute things at Forever 21 with some Christmas money, when I actually have on mostly normal clothes - even though chances are you will still find me in maternity pants - and find a few minutes to put on some makeup, I feel good. Doesn't matter that the baby wraps cover up most of my clothing. I know what's under there. :)

My body changed to grow my baby. It may or may not ever go back to the way it used to look, even if I lose the 20 pounds. But as Kam told me, now I am the "new and improved me." Ultimately, I am proud of my body. It is powerful and strong. And as another new mom friend of mine and I have discussed, the extra belly really makes a useful shelf for holding the little ones. haha I got a new tattoo on the side of my belly in honor of my daughter, but I think it also honors the belly that changed to accommodate her so she could be housed so cozy for so long. 

An example of dressing for your body shape, not to be confused with being ashamed of it.
The empire waist and cardigan kind of help camouflage and shape my belly and hips,
and the bright colors are happy. These are the same maternity jeans you've seen me in before.

Am I expecting again?? lol Nope. That's just how my belly looks from the side by the end of the day.

Because I'm human, I usually pick out the most flatteringly angled pics to post.
This one is more representative.

Tell me something about your body that makes you proud. Pretty please? Even if it's something small. I want to know.

Wear a piece of self-love everywhere.

30% off all our handmade necklaces this month! Grab one or two for a friend, or better yet, for yourself! ;)


www.theclosetnarcissist.etsy.com

And while you're perusing etsy, you can snap up some cute winter gear (scarves, fingerless gloves, hats) at my other shop, www.juniperandclover.etsy.com, at newly discounted prices.

Happy shopping!!

And we hope to be back soon with some "real" blogging again soon! ;)

Recapturing the self-love you were born with.

Kam and I had a discussion by text last night that really got me thinking about things I want my husband and me to tell our daughter when she comes along and is old enough to understand. Well, actually, it's something I think about all the time, but it prompted a good discussion with my husband. Kam said that her 11-year-old daughter has been saying recently that she thinks she is pretty, and it really warms my heart to hear that, and we all hope she maintains a sense of self-love, especially as she's entering probably the most difficult age. 

As my husband and I talked, we decided that instead of telling our daughter she is perfect (as it would be so tempting to do), we will tell her she is ENOUGH and that she does not have to be perfect. I want her to feel wonderful just the way she is, without the pressure I felt growing up to constantly measure up to my own self-imposed and misguided standards for perfection. When I stopped feeling like I had to be perfect, that was when my real life started. Maybe telling a child that he or she is "perfect" could leave them with the subconscious feeling that they have something to continually live up to, like they can never be allowed to mess up. I'm sure some of it depends on the child too. Or maybe a "you're perfect to me" (like that awesome Pink song, which I promise the baby started kicking to the other day!) or "you're perfect the way you are without needing to do anything to earn my approval" would work too.

One of our handmade necklaces, available on our web site or etsy shop.

Our BFF Bon sent me an email today from a great web site called Heal Your Life, which contained probably one of the best things I've ever read. It's along these same lines but applies to all you self-love-seeking grownups, and I wanted to share it with you too.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! How to Let Your Love Shine

by Crystal Andrus

I REMEMBER A RETREAT I was having not too long ago when Natalie Hughes (our musical director) couldn’t find a babysitter for her small daughter, Audrey. Natalie always performs during these special days and it’s just not the same without her. She asked if she could bring Audrey and let my teenage daughters watch her.

“Of course!” was our answer.

Just before the day got started, I asked Audrey if I could introduce her to the group of ladies—many who looked a little anxious. Audrey happily agreed.

Up Audrey came, a little shy but glowing; I asked her to tell everyone her name and how old she was. I then asked her if she was beautiful. “Yes,” she nodded with the sweetest smile. She certainly was beautiful! She then told us that she was also “smart and talented and very loveable.”

The ladies all admired her gentle strength and humble confidence. We admired her God-given sense of self-love.

Audrey hadn’t learned to hate herself . . . yet. Audrey hadn’t learned that her hips were too big or her breasts too small. She hadn’t decided that men would probably hurt her or that money didn’t grow on trees.

Audrey was still trusting, believing, and completely hopeful about life and the important part she would play in it. Audrey loved herself. Not with selfish narcissism but with a natural sense of divinity.

We are born with self-love. We didn’t have to learn it. We innately felt it. We instinctively believed in our parents. We trusted that they would protect, guide, encourage, and empower us, until we were old enough to make our way out into the world with confidence, courage, and certainty.

But for many of us, this didn’t happen.

Our parents didn’t give us what we needed. It’s not necessarily their fault, though. They probably didn’t get the messages of self-love delivered to them either!

My parents never once told me as a child that they loved me. Not once. I didn’t find out until I was a teenager that my mother’s parents had never spoken those words to her either!

Parents don’t intentionally set out to ruin their children. I’m a mother myself; I can’t imagine carrying the burden of thinking I said or did anything that may have negatively affected my daughter’s self esteem, self worth and self love! But I probably have . . . not even knowing it.

Parents carry their own wounds, shame, pain, and blame. And they unconsciously project it all over their kids. The truth is we all project our light and our darkness on those around us—unless we’ve done some serious self-work!

Marianne Williamson points out in her extraordinary book, A Course in Weight Loss, that “the love you’ve withheld from yourself … is held in trust for you until you’re ready to receive it.” This concept is so huge!

You probably have an enormous warehouse of self-love stored up inside of you!

Do you understand that the only reason you’re struggling so much is because you’ve been too afraid to shine bright. You’ve been worried that being YOU—magnificent, beautiful, talented, sexy, powerful, amazing—will hurt you. You’ve tucked your self-love, along with your bright shining light, deep deep inside.

You may have insulated your self-love so far down that you think it’s lost, but it isn’t! Your love can never leave you—even if you’ve left it! 

This week, your job is to remember who you were as a child. Find a picture of yourself. Notice all the wonderful qualities you possessed, the wonder and trust in your eyes. (You may even have to go all the way back to a picture of yourself as a baby.)

Write down ten positive affirmations about “her.” An example of your list may be:

You are so beautiful.

You are so kind.

You are so smart.

You are so special.

You are so sweet.

You are so loveable.

You are so important to me.

Your life matters.

You matter.

I love you!

Then, every morning and evening, look into the mirror—into your own eyes—and repeat these affirmations to yourself.

This is the start . . . the beginning of falling back in love with you! It may feel futile at first. Do it anyway.

***********

And one more thing to leave you with - something else I came across this week. Here's a partial.

50 Reasons You are Beautiful

1.     It is beautiful to speak another language. It is beautiful to try.

2.    Beauty is long hair, and short hair; brown, black, pink, yellow, or white. Beauty is a smooth bald head.

3.    If you have been to hell and back, your resilience is beautiful.

4.    Asking questions—especially “why?”—is always beautiful. Why? Because curiosity is beautiful.

5.    You are beautiful when you are afraid to do something, and you do it anyway.

Click here to read the rest of the list - I promise it won't be a waste of time!

So what we wanna know is...what are some of your ideas for recapturing the childlike essence of self-love we hopefully had before the world or other people (or ourselves) "beat" it out of us? How do you plan to get it back?