The Inner Beauty Movement / Are Self-Love Blogs Fluff?

My daughter checking out her reflection. (It's a child-safe mirror, which is why it looks a little distorted.)
If only we all kept the same friendly relationship with the mirror as we got older!

Let me be honest. Because I always am here. :) And I'm not fishing for compliments. Sometimes I can start to wonder if this blog really means anything to anyone or if it actually makes a difference. How's that for ironic: the self-love blogger feeling insecure about her blog?! Just like anyone else, I can start to let a lack of comments make me question my purpose here. Just about the time I start wondering that, I will receive a comment from someone I've never heard from before saying that something I wrote meant something to them. (You'd think I would learn by now.) And the truth is, whether this blog ever reaches an audience on a wide scale, it has helped me more than I ever thought possible as well. The simple act of constantly thinking of self-love posts I want to write about naturally induces more of it in my life. As a mom, I don't have the time I used to have to devote to it, but it's never far from my thoughts. Every time I watch TV or hear a song or have a conversation with a friend, my mind is thinking of how I can weave a post from some sort of nugget I got because my goal is simply to help people. And if people can glean something positive from my bad experiences (and my good ones!), it adds more purpose to things I went through.

This is not the only blog out there that talks about self-love. There are quite a few of them out there. There is somewhat of a female self-love movement going on in our world right now, and not just from Dove. Even though as far as I can tell, we started this project before the big movement started, sometimes I wonder if I actually have anything valuable to add to this movement when there is already so much going on towards it. Some of those other blogs are so, so good. But then I snap myself back to reality and remember that no one else can tell this "story" the way I tell it. Someone might read my blog and get more out of it than another one because something about it resonates with them more. Someone might read mine and it doesn't resonate with them, but it propels them toward another blog that does. Maybe someone doesn't regularly read this blog but happened upon one particular post that mattered to them that day. All of those things are great. What's important is that the person is actively seeking that journey. My blog isn't any better or worse than the others and vice versa because, while we may all be discussing the same basic principle, we're all doing it in our own unique ways.  I am not jealous of the other, more successful blogs in actuality. I am just happy if people find something that makes them see how beautiful they really are inside and out. 

I recently read on another self-love blog, however, that blogs like mine are essentially fluff. That you can't develop more self-love simply by focusing on it. That you really need to take her e-course to discover how to love yourself more. Now, her course might be a total awakening for some people, and if so, I think that is wonderful. I will not call her out because I sincerely believe that her purpose is the same as mine: to help people. But I don't think it's fair to downplay blogs like mine that promote self-love or try to convince all women that they're beautiful. All of us self-love bloggers have our place in this movement, a place that only each one of us can fill in our individual ways from our unique experiences in our lives. I do believe the more you focus on something, the more it becomes your reality. If you're reading my blog and/or some of the others, I think it's naturally going to start to rub off on you. How you get there isn't as important as the fact that you are trying to get there. There's no one right way or right answer that applies to all women.

My daughter and me.
She's beautiful inside and out,
and I want her to always know!

I really love, LOVE, LOOOOOVE Lifetime's new show, "The Conversation." I have been keeping some notes and quotes from every episode as I've gone along and am just waiting for the right way to convey my thoughts, but sum it up now to say: IF YOU ARE A WOMAN AND YOU ARE NOT WATCHING THIS SHOW, YOU ARE DOING A GREAT DISSERVICE TO YOURSELF. So anyway, I've been perusing their web site now that season one is over, and there is some great stuff there. I came across this post, and it so beautifully describes how I feel - that the inner beauty movement does not have to exclude outer beauty. Let's not get so caught up in the inner stuff that we convince ourselves the outer part doesn't even matter. We're women. We're human. To some degree, for most of us, it does matter. And as the post points out: "By relying on your inner beauty to get you through the long days and cold nights, you might miss a very valuable truth: you ARE beautiful... Here’s the lie: You are either beautiful on the inside or pretty on the outside. Here’s what I say: That’s a load of bull. You as a woman are inherently both." That's why one of our TCN mottos is "Inner AND outer beauty promoted here." They aren't mutually exclusive. 

I'll leave you for now with a list of some of my favorite self-love blogs/sites run by some courageous and inspiring women - all of whom, like me, probably started out in a place of insecurity and worked their way out...I dare say we all still struggle, but we have learned how to fight it better and just want to help others do the same. You don't even have to agree with everything they or I say; you can pick and choose what resonates with you and build on it. There are a wealth of other blogs and sites that are great; these just happen to have found their way into my list.

Medicinal Marzipan

So Worth Loving

Health for the Whole Self

Looking in the Mirror

Miseducated

Nourishing the Soul

Positively Present

The Body and the Brood

Just Be Enough

Operation Beautiful

The Conversation

I also have what I think is a really great Twitter list I've made public of all my favorite self-love tweeters (many of those above, plus others). Check it out and make your own...and don't forget to add us, @narcissisters, to your list. ;)

What is your opinion of the self-love movement? Do you think it is working? Do you believe in promoting or diminishing the importance of feeling beautiful on the outside?

Our Version of "Pretty Little Liars" Fashion

Emily Fields, Spencer Hastings, Aria Montgomery, and Hanna Marin -
looking as nervous as always as they anticipate A's next message!

If you're anything like me, you can barely contain your excitement because you know what Tuesday, June 5th means. You've been twiddling your thumbs every Monday night for the last few months with no "Pretty Little Liars" to watch, and now it's coming back! Although it's apparently switching to Tuesdays now. Well, being a mama means I don't always get to watch shows on the actual night they air and almost never a full episode in one sitting (and I'm not complaining; thank goodness for TiVo!). Being a mama also means I never have time to sit and twiddle my thumbs, for that matter. :) But I have been anxiously awaiting PLL's return. 

PLL is one of my favorite guilty pleasures obsessions. I watch it for the fashion just as much as the mystery and intrigue. Incidentally, some nitwit - nit-Twit? hehe - on Twitter told the whole ending, and I accidentally came across it, and it really made me mad because I wanted to read the books and find out for myself first...but still, it did not assuage my obsession. There's just something about it. I've always been a sucker for WB-esque shows (probably really telling my age here - hey, I'm only 31, but I know there are some of you out there who have nooo idea what the WB was), and this is no exception, but it's really a very smart and well-done show. It centers around four friends who become estranged after the death of their mutual friend, Alison, who is, well, a bitch, and, for the life of me, I can't figure out the hold she had on them. But they are brought back together when they all start receiving threatening messages from some anonymous source who calls themselves "A." The girls are on constant alert trying to keep A from sabotaging everything they've worked for and protect their loved ones and themselves. A seems to be all-knowing and has tabs on their every move and threatens to expose every little secret they have if they don't comply. At the end of the last season, A was semi-revealed, still leaving you not knowing the full story. In addition to the main mystery of who killed Alison and who's been threatening the girls, there are tons of other little mysteries that keep you guessing all along the way.

I simply can't get enough of the fashion choices on this show. Their costume designer, Mandi Line, is brilliant. Somehow she's able to choose the perfect outfits for four completely different types of characters and nails it every single time. Kam and I thought it would be fun to do our own PLL fashion shoot using clothes we already have. It was more of a challenge (the fun kind) to use pieces we already own and decide how to put them together rather than buy new stuff, and plus, we're both broke. I won't go into tons of detail about each of the four girls, simply because this site has done a great job of describing each of their characters and their fashion senses - and has also since done a separate and more detailed post on each girl. But I'll do a quick synopsis for those of you who are unfamiliar with them, with pictures pulled from that site. The one thing they all have in common: big bags or purses.

Emily is the most casual of the bunch fashion-wise, but that's not to say she's lacking in style or color. She's a swimmer, and some of her clothes are more sporty. She comes to terms with being a lesbian, and living authentically is very important to her, even in the face of people who want to see her fall.  

Spencer is focused on her grades and really has a good head on her shoulders. Well, maybe except when it comes to dating her sister's boyfriends. :) She was the least affected by Alison's control and is also not affected by her family's wealth. Her fashion choices lean toward masculine and preppy but still feminine.

Aria's fashion sense is eclectic - a little boho, a tad punky, always imaginative and unexpected. Lots of black and brown. She's very mature and sweet and gets to date pretty much the hottest teacher ever. She holds her head high in the midst of the problems between her parents and having to hide her own relationship.

Hanna is all about designer labels and high fashion. Neither Kam nor I could care less about designer labels, so this was more challenging for me. Hanna is a good person who just keeps getting pulled down by various family struggles, in addition to the A perils, and is trying to keep her head above water.      

We decided I would be Aria and Hanna - they wear more makeup, just like I usually wear more than Kam, even though it got a little washed out in our photos. My typical style is mostly a combination of Aria and Emily, I think, and Kam is mostly an Emily. We had a lot of fun doing it. Here's the final result!

Emily Fields, Spencer Hastings, Aria Montgomery, and Hanna Marin.
We've had most of this stuff for too long to bother listing where anything came from.
For example, my Aria dress is from high school!

Since our blog is all about growing your self-love, how does this relate, you ask? Well, each character (if they were real) has figured out how to style herself in such a way that truly reflects and enhances her identity and sense of self. That's not to say that you have to dress one way all the time in real life. I certainly don't; I love following certain trends just as much as I love running across a unique vintage dress. And it's not to say you have to spend a lot of money or "manufacture" a style or that how you dress is all-important. I think your own unique style naturally starts coming out the more confidence you develop, and the more you develop your own style, the more confidence you will feel. It's a cycle. According to Mandi, a great way to develop your style is to go with pieces you already own and start mixing and matching them in ways you've never tried. I used to worry that I didn't have my own sense of style to identify with, and I think it was when I stopped trying so hard and just let myself gravitate toward things that resonated with me, it came. It shouldn't be something you copy 100% from someone else, though it's natural to get ideas and inspiration from many sources, or something you create because you think it's what you should wear. Go with what feels right. The core of fashion should be about expressing who you are and not being afraid to pull it off. I think that's where the confidence lies.

Do you feel you have your own sense of style, or do you think you're still searching for it?

P.S. You can also find more PLL outfit ideas we found and pinned to our Pinterest style board.

Oh, a-thrifting we will go! (+ my new jeggings!)

Last weekend, KameraWhore and I went thrifting! We went to Goodwill and Plato's Closet. That's all we had time for, but we both had some successful finds. If you're not lucky enough to have a Plato's in your area, I am sorry for you. :( It's a consignment chain that caters mostly to a juniors dept. crowd. Some of the items cost a little more than you might traditionally find in a thrift store, especially if it's designer, but you're almost guaranteed to find something you like and in good condition. Much of my wardrobe has come from there. Another thing I like about it is the ambiance; they have really cute outfit ideas on mannequins and just hanging throughout the store, so you can get some good ideas.

I like the denim shirt over the dress! I'm not sure I'm cut out for wearing belts over two layers, though...
I love the look, but it's not real flattering on me when the material bunches up at the hips. :(

Kam found a pair of super awesome 70s-style plaid trousers. She didn't get them because she just didn't feel like she'd wear them enough, but they looked so cute on her. That can be one of the pitfalls of thrifting - everything is so cheap that it's easy to rationalize buying it, but you can end up with a closet full of things you'll barely wear. You have to really decide what "speaks" to you. She got a few shirts she needed. I got a shirt and a jersey dress. It seems like whenever I go thrifting and spot something I like, it's inevitably from Forever 21. If I see it and like it and grab it, I check the tag, and it happens almost EVERY TIME. In a way, it seems silly to buy thrifted stuff from stores you'd normally buy from anyway, but you know, if you like it, there's a reason.

KameraWhore being a...camera whore. ;) And rightly so!

Something else I recently got was...drumroll please...

JEGGINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's my new fave word! I find excuses to say it. You know I've been wanting Pajama Jeans. Someone suggested I try out jeggings first. I did a quick search online, found some cute ones at Walmart for a whopping $12, and rushed over and bought myself two pairs!! The brand is Faded Glory. I got dark denim and black. Oh, my God, they are amazing! They are so comfortable. I know I'm late to the game here, but I think one reason I didn't get any sooner was because my one pair of skinny jeans is not comfortable and always leaves me feeling a little self-conscious about my hips. The stretchy fabric of these, the pockets, the way they're stitched, etc. make them much more comfy and forgiving. Walmart has really stepped up its game if you know where to look! Here's an outfit from their site that includes the same jeggings I got (they often group whole outfits you can buy at once); I actually think it's really cute and something I'd wear. The ensemble is out of stock now, but you could easily piece something similar together.

So once I discovered the comfort of elastic-waisted jeggings, I knew I had to have some bootcut Pajama Jeans. Forever 21 has bell bottom jeggings, but last I checked, they only have smalls for sale online and none in stores, and I'd need a medium. So I found a pair of Pajama Jeans on ebay...and I WON!!! I am so excited that I can hardly stand it. I no longer fear entering into an old lady world of elastic waistbands...the cut and shape are what matter the most, and actually, flat-banded elastic waists, at least on these jeggings, are way more flattering on me. You don't have the added bulk from buttons, seams, and zippers. These have a faux zipper, faux front pockets (except the teeny one is real, whatever that one is called), and real back pockets that are set at a place that is really flattering to your butt.

So here are the outfits I came up with around my new jersey dress, shirt, and jeggings.

Jacket: Rainbow, Shirt: Forever 21 via Plato's Closet, 
Jeggings: Walmart, Boots: Forever 21, Necklace: etsy

Jersey dress: Old Navy via Goodwill (with tank underneath), 

Sweater Tights: Anthropologie, Boots: Ross, Necklace: ours

After we got through shopping, we went to dinner at On the Border, and it was soooo good. I had fish tacos and accidentally left my leftovers at her house! Sigh. Hope she enjoyed them. But it was rather nice eating a good meal and NOT having to feel the discomfort of my jeans button denting into my full tummy since I was wearing jeggings. Then we watched almost three hours of Celebrity Ghost Stories on TV and spooked each other silly. There were two stories where a ghost had suddenly popped up in people's rearview mirrors, and normally I don't think seeing a ghost would scare me, but I made VainShane (Kam's husband) walk me to my car and then talked to my husband all the way home!! haha All in all, a good night. :)

Are you already on the jeggings bandwagon? How about Pajama Jeans? Why or why not?

And how do you feel about ghosts in your rearview? ;)

Ch-ch-ch-changes! Wall color, hairstyle...how 'bout you?

Lately, I keep having these uncontrollable urges to redecorate things!! KameraWhore and I have MANY things in common, and she'll attest that this is definitely one of them.


It happens every so often with me...when I lived by myself, it seemed to happen about every six months, requiring me to repaint my walls. To my credit, I haven't changed my mind on a paint color in our house in about four or five years! So it's past time for a change!! I think I want to repaint our living room. I posted a pic of my former bedroom before...here is our living room. 

Not as girly as you were expecting, huh!

If I can't have pink, red's the next best thing! :) But in a small room, the red can sometimes seem dark, and with spring hopefully on its way, I think I'd like something fresher, brighter, but without having to change anything else except the wall color. The dining room is pea pod green, and the master bedroom is light cerulean blue, so those two colors are out...but I want the rooms to flow together still. I want to be able to decorate for Christmas in traditional red and green, so even though that's one small part of the year, I wanna keep that in mind. So what I keep going back to is khaki. I usually prefer lots of color to neutrals, but I can still have pops of color around the room in other ways. Hmm. I know this isn't a decorating blog, but I know some of you out there have some talent! What do you think?


I've also been debating for a while whether or not I want to get bangs again. I know, HUGE life decision here... I think I wanna get bangs that I can change up...they could be side-swept, straight across, or Bettie Page depending on how I feel on any given day! Here's a couple pics of me when I had them, as well as one of Kamalama with bangs and one of our fave singers, Langhorne Slim. 

Look at my pretty baby girl!!

Oh, how I want to make a crude joke here about getting "bangs."

In the second one, you can just see hints of color from when the underside of my hair was fuchsia. I've also done hot pink and purple on the underside. My hair has been every "typical" color as well, even blonde! I think I want to stick with brunette for a while longer, though. Oh, and this is my FAVORITE hairstyle Kam has ever had.


I shouldn't give any opinions on the new (to America) show "Skins," because I haven't watched it and probably won't...but at the risk of sounding like a prudish 30-year-OOOLLLLD lady ;), just from what I've seen in the preview, the show would probably scare me out of having a child this day in age! lol Is this really what goes on?! I'm perfectly fine with adults doing "things" on TV, but they're so young. Anyway, the thing that stuck out to me watching the preview (aside from the obvious content of the show, ahem!) was this one girl's HAIR!! I love it! I am getting my hair cut this weekend and am having to talk myself out of getting it all chopped off like this. I've had my hair shorter than that before and loved it. But that length would just end up looking, on me, like that awkward "I'm growing my hair out" stage. I've been there; I know. Don't let me do it!!

http://ncampbelll.tumblr.com/

Ironically, I think I look younger without bangs than with. I'm pretty sure I wanna get the bangs, though. Yes? No? HELP!!!!! Aaaaahhhh!!!


And, finally, I'm considering redoing the layout of the blog. You have NO IDEA how long Kam and I pored over various blog layouts before we finally settled on this one!! I love it and think it's really cute, but for some reason, I just keep thinking I want to change it (which some of you agreed with in our survey - you can still take it here if you like, which we'd appreciate so very much!).


Which reminds me, if you have a Blogger blog and haven't yet set it up for mobile viewers, oooh, please go do that!! It makes viewing and commenting on them on smart phones a lot easier! Go here: http://draft.blogger.com/home - then go to Settings - then click on Email & Mobile - then click Yes for "Show Mobile Template."


Anyway, I'm probably just bored from the winter blahs, but I think some ch-ch-ch-changes will do me some good! :) 


I think this is why I love makeup so much!! It's not permanent, and you can do it totally different every single day to keep you from getting bored.


What are you considering changing as spring approaches? Your hair color? Your city? Your style? The way you perceive yourself?


And what do you think are your reasons behind changing - something deep-seated and profound or just boredom?

Product Reviews: VS Love Spell, Katy Perry Purr Perfume, Revlon Scented Nailpolish...& SOAP!

Snow day #2! YEAH! So I thought I'd do another product review for you.

Coincidentally, I've obtained and reviewed three kinds of products that have two things in common:

1) They're all purple!

and

2) They all smell REALLY good!

First up, Victoria's Secret Love Spell shampoo and conditioner. I had a gift card, and since I got plenty of lingerie from the pinup-themed shower KameraWhore threw me, I decided to get a Love Spell body spray (since I was almost out again), shampoo, and conditioner. I've been using the body spray for several years now. I smelled this amazing fragrance one time getting in someone's car and asked her what it was...I went out ASAP and got some for my own. It's one of the best-smelling fragrances I've ever smelled! 

But I had never tried the hair products. Since they were free to me, I couldn't resist. They are normally $9 a bottle, so more than I'd normally spend for shampoo and conditioner (Kam and I are Suave Humectant kinda gals) - but I have a feeling I'll be buying more when I run out. They smell just like the body spray. I wondered whether or not they'd actually leave my hair smelling like that signature fruit punch scent after the fact...but I washed my hair late yesterday afternoon, blew it dry (I usually air dry, but it is freakin' COLD), and woke up today to punchy-smellin' hair! My hair is also really soft, smooth, and not at all dry, so it seems to perform well. You can get it here.

Second is Revlon's *scented* nailpolish in Not So Blueberry. It's not blue; it's a deep, shimmery purple with blue undertones. And it smells like blueberries!! I painted my nails with it yesterday, and they still smell like blueberries today, even after cooking and washing my hands a lot. So I am walkin' around just enjoying all this fragrance every time I move and swish, between the hair products and nailpolish! ;) I have always liked Revlon's nailpolishes. They go on really well (not too thick, not too thin) and are good quality.  You can click the pic to enlarge. You can also order it here.

Now if only I could be more patient to wait for my nails to dry before I start doing other things! I have heard good things about Seche Vite Dry Fast Top Coat - really need to try it. I tried Sally Hansen's version before and disliked it so much that I actually returned it. Any opinions?

(By the way, the gloves are another item from my "other" etsy shop that I have with my mom-in-law, juniperandclover. Get some warm and cozy gloves, scarves, and legwarmers to enjoy before spring arrives! There are even little baby clothes.)

And third is Katy Perry's fragrance, Purr. My close friend Shybiker sent a bottle to me as a Christmas gift! (She's the sweetest!!) The bottle is shaped like a kitty cat, as you can see, who looks like she might be I Dream of Jeannie's cat! A little spray will do ya with this perfume so that you don't overdo it and end up smelling too strong. I just use a tiny squirt under each ear, and it will last me all day long. 

The smell is not too overpoweringly rich. The official description is: "Purr by Katy Perry eau de parfum begins with the aroma of peach nectar and forbidden apple, evolves with a distinct floral bouquet of jasmine blossom, Bulgarian rose and vanilla orchid, and slowly reveals accents of creamy sandalwood and musk. Like the singer herself, Purr is playful yet sophisticated." I've never completely understood notes and bouquets, either in wine or perfume, but I do know it smells wonderful!! 

Just be careful with your real cat while wearing it, or it might rub off on him, and you'll have to wash him off...and he may not take as kindly to this as mine did! You can get it here.

On an unrelated note, hubby and I have finished watching all four seasons of "SOAP" on Netflix instant (you can also buy it here). I'm so sad that there are no more episodes and that it ended on a cliffhanger with no closure! I knew it was coming, but damn. If you've never seen it, it's a parody of the outrageous plots they have in soap operas. They also took on issues of race, homosexuality, sex, and more between 1977 and 1981, when those issues were still much more sensitive than they are today, and they preached tolerance cloaked in humor. They did it brilliantly too, with clever characters and extremely silly plot lines that leave you wanting more - with just enough depth and warmth to attach you to their plights. I was born a year before it ended, and I enjoyed it just as much today as I would have then, had I been old enough. Billy Crystal plays cute gay son Jodie, the dad from "Blossom" plays his cute-but-not-so-smart brother Danny, the guy from "Empty Nest" plays Burt, Mona from "Who's the Boss" plays Jessica, Benson from "Benson" plays, well, Benson! Five-star cast!

So I'll leave you with a wonderful narcissistic quote from season four of this beloved sitcom:

Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, I am overwhelmed that I am in the same room with me.  - Burt Campbell, SOAP

Love it, haha.


In the interest of full disclosure, some of the links above are linked to our Amazon affiliate account. Every little bit helps keep TCN up and runnin'! ;) However, I only reviewed the products to share my opinion of them!